What came first: Psychological issues or unsupportive Feng Shui?
Here is a Feng Shui case study that illustrates how a person's ability to give and receive shows up in their environment. Maryann wanted a whole new outlook on life - a new look, new furnishings and new energy. Her husband, Steve, was the successful breadwinner with a very strong and intimidating personality. She stayed at home to care for the house and the family. It became quite clear during our conversation that he viewed her job as less important than his, and if she didn't please him in whatever capacity, he let his control of the purse strings do the talking. She thought she could fix it all through sex, but instead, Maryann developed a total lack of interest in intimacy with her husband, which filled her with guilt.
It was clear that the problems in their relationship as partners stemmed from living stereotypes that no longer worked. Unfortunately for Maryann, we never did the project because Steve conveniently found my standard design contract unacceptable. While Steve financially took care of household and family needs and money was abundant, it was "his" money. At the same time, he did not want her to work outside the home. Her fear and security issues made it impossible for her to stand in her own power to say "Stop controlling me. Either give me the money to make both our lives more beautiful, or I'll get my own job to pay for what I need and want."
I also questioned how Steve could be happy with the way things were. The proper Feng Shui changes and a job for Maryann would create a sense of personal accomplishment and income for her, which would provide security, personal power, and most important, the freedom to make choices. Perhaps he subconsciously knew the power that the Feng Shui changes would have, and through his own fear of change, refused to let her follow through. Maryann, on the other hand, needed to stand up to a situation that no longer reflected the path that she wanted to walk. How sad to see stagnation when one of the few constants in life is change.
I had a strong urge to help her start making those positive shifts in her life, but it is essential for a practitioner to get someone's permission before doing Feng Shui or any other energy work that creates shifts in life experience. No matter how good the practitioner's intentions are, until permission is given, it means the recipient is not ready to receive these energetic shifts in their life.